I made a very difficult phone call this morning. I knew it was going to be one of the most difficult calls I’ve had to make, so I forced myself to get it done.
I called the vet and made an appointment to euthanize our dogs. I’ve never had to make a decision like this, and it sucks. Two lives are in my hands, and I made the call that will end them. 😦 😦 😦
This was not a decision made lightly. At Godiva’s last vet appointment, our instructions were to “euthanize when ready”. Reading that hit me like a ton of bricks. She has been in pain, and has struggled to move, for years. Terrible arthritis and joint degeneration has left her unable to stand up from the floor on her own for a long time. Lately, we can tell her condition has deteriorated. She often hides, and has behaved strangely for a little while. We know it is because she is in pain. At our last vet visit, we decided to try a new nerve pain medication. At this point, she is on 3 different pain/anti-inflammatory meds, and it’s just not enough any more. We don’t want to see her suffer, so we knew we had to make peace with the fact that she needed to be released from her suffering.
With Charlie, it is a little more gray. We know he has liver problems. All around, he is just not well. He pants constantly. His hunger is never satisfied, regardless of how much he’s eaten. He cannot always control his bodily functions anymore. Worst of all are his mental problems. He is constantly stressed and worried. He runs around the housing thinking one of us has gone missing, often when we are in plain view.
In my heart, I know it is time for them to go. But it is going to be so hard to not have them around anymore. I have had Charlie for almost 10 years, and Ruben has had Godiva for 12 1/2 years. Godiva was truly like Ruben’s first child, and he has always treated her as such. And he has embraced Charlie and Charlie’s crazy ways, and he has so much love for him. I worry about the kids and how they will adjust. I am thankful that we have the opportunity to come to terms with this emotionally before they are gone. This is a part of life, and a part of pet ownership, but it sure as hell isn’t easy.